Legends, newcomers and odd balls. But who’s No. 1?
With Liberty Biberty – that little yellow fuzzball creeping into LiMu Emu’s turf – garnering a healthy dose of hatred that extended into an actual protest at Liberty Mutual’s HQ, it seems like the perfect time for a Character & Mascot Power Ranking.
Is this scientific? Let’s say it is, because who’s fact-checking me? Is it packed with legitimate, stuffy marketing analysis on whether each character has had an impact on business? Not even a little bit.
So let’s get to it, because no one needs 10 paragraphs of backstory. We’ll save that approach for the online recipe writers.
1. Mayhem (Allstate)
Personified chaos. Need we say more? A brilliant idea taken to legendary status with perfect casting. Dean Winters never disappoints, the writing is marvelous, and c’mon, who hasn’t dealt with at least one of these situations … racoon in the attic, anyone? No – just me? Cool. Watch 10 of the funniest spots.
2. Dr. Rick (Progressive)
More brilliant writing. Dr. Rick’s been keeping us from turning into our parents for years, and frankly, I couldn’t be more grateful. You laugh – then you cry a little, because let’s be honest, we all turn into our parents to some degree. Haven’t tried to help a service tech? C’mon, live a little. Watch a Dr. Rick compilation.
3. The Gecko (Geico)
Official name: Martin. Yea, no one calls him Martin, but I must, as it’s a nod to one of my favorite agencies. But back to business. This is where the GOAT conversation begins. In the game longer than Lebron, he refuses to hang ‘em up, and I love it. Keep playing if ya still got it, little man! He’s certainly a contender for the top spot, but he’s not quite sarcastic or passive-aggressive enough for my liking. Still, you have to appreciate the depth and breadth of work. He’s posting HOF numbers. Watch a (highly subjective) Top-10.
4. Flo (Progressive)
Another legit contender for the GOAT spot. Maybe my favorite pick for overall casting. The ensembles carry the commercials as much as Flo does. Flo is an absolute ICON, and don’t forget it. She’s only No. 4, because like the Yankees, it’s time for someone else to have a shot at the title. Go ahead, try to pick your favorite.
5. Professor Burke (Farmers)
First, let’s pour one out for the Prof, who officially retired this year after a 16-year run. That alone speaks to his greatness. J.K. Simmons somehow kept the professor fresh for nearly two decades. Just enough snark. Just enough “sage energy.” And the reason I can’t shake “We Are Farmers. Bum, da, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump,” … or something like that. Watch a few classics.
6. LiMu Emu & Doug (Liberty Mutual)
This is where it starts to get polarizing. I don’t care. I love these guys. The idea is just a bit unhinged, which is what we all need more of. LiMu’s fine, but Doug? That man is a national treasure. The mannerisms, unbridled confidence and lack of self-awareness works too well. My favorite: Parent-Teacher Conference.
7. Jake from State Farm (State Farm)
This guy. I swear. He’s led to more forced laughter at coffee shop counters than I’m comfortable with. To all my fellow Jakes, I know you feel the pain. It’s OK, we’ll get through it. That aside, you can’t argue with the performance. I mean, this guy’s a pop-culture icon at this point. Plus, the husband on the phone with Jake, when his wife thinks it’s another woman? Legendary ad. Unfortunately, the recent stuff just isn’t as good. Maybe a campaign featuring Jake’s from around the country who get “misidentified” as Jake from State Farm is the next ad? Cast me now, please.
8. The Aflac Duck (Aflac)
I hate the duck. We get it, you can say Aflac. Enough said. Moving on.
9. Liberty Biberty (Liberty Mutual)
The cool kids would put him at No. 10. I’m not that cool. In a world of boring advertising where creativity gets killed 99.9% of the time in favor of the safe play, I’m here for it. Do I love it? No. Do I love saying “Liberteee, Biberteee.” Yes. Yes, I do. Hate me for it. Judge for yourself.
10. The General (The General Auto Insurance)
Not really sure why I put him on here. Probably because I wanted a Top 10, and this is the best I could do. He’s just there, ya know? And without Shaq, do we even know the General? Doubtful.
